Won Ton Soup

From the exchange of hearts and minds which occured amongst the odors of noodles, spring rolls, oranges, and icecream on Friday 24th 2005.

The conversation ended with the decision to bring a calendar next time. The idea of the calendar is that one needs to decide when he will take time for himself. This is a first step, of course, since once one has the habit of daily making time for himself then he will no longer require a calendar... just as when one has a habit for doing sports he no longer needs to decide what sports he will do that day.

We got to that point in the conversation because it was brought up that there were many things that kept popping up and taking time away. One of those things were friends.

Many people consider you to be of great help to them, they really appreciate your presence and thus they ask it of you. There is no problem with this- the thing is that one must also know when other people are taking time away from yourself. It is essential to spend time with others, helping, yet it is just as essential (if not more) to spend time with yourself... to help yourself... there are many ways this is evident, one of them is simply:
how much help can you be to anyone if you are not at peace with yourself first?!

Only when you understand yourself (to a certain degree of course) can you provide correct assitance to those who consider you a friend and to those whom you consider as your friends.
An easy way to see this is the common example of getting upset at a comment- did you get upset at the nature of the comment or did you get upset because of your past which the comment may have brought up?!
Pay attention to the following: the same way that someone who got extremely sick at the same time as he visited his uncle, when he was five, may grow up to dislike the thought of revisiting his uncle, also someone who has suffered the experience of rape may grow up to be a very good counseler for rape-related trauma patients.

All this to say that one must first get to know themselves before, and during, helping others.


To do this one must put aside time for him/herself. There is no other way. And this implies doing things such as booking a flight to Yosemite and spending 5 days roaming the high-country; or planning a trip to a retreat in France; or putting aside two hours each day for meditation; or signing up for the course you always wanted to try... and so on and so on. There are large long-term plans and short-term plans.
Daily steps and annual steps... The important thing is that they must be present. They must be PHYSICALLY present as opposed to imaginary plans one carries around in their mind for years and years and lead to severe regret and mental disturbances/irregularities in the latter years of ones` life (I apologize for the apocaliptic secenario).


We also talked about where we would be in ten years time.
Personally this is a difficult question due to the fact that I have a hard time distinguishing between the "where I would like to be in ten years time", the "where i think i will be in ten years time", and the "the feeling that i get when i think about where i will be in ten years time".

Explanation:
i) I would like to be providing humanitarian aid to others at the same time as exploring the world, my friends, and myself.
ii) My present lifestyle could easily lead me to be an astronomer at some university, helping students, swimming at the university pool, running every couple of days, doing some rockclimbing and single (most likely)
iii) The feeling that I get is that i`ll be (IF alive) homeless, not writing blog entries, single, trying to know myself but without social or moneary conditions to do so...
I guess one of the above reflects my immediate outlook on a problem (before thinking about it) which is somewhat pessimistic.
One of the above reflects the capabilities that I know I have from seeing my past experiences.
One of them reflects the possibility of a future which I know I could achieve if I try.
The KEY thing is: will I try? will I have given into laziness and comfort (due to a sudden growth in reputation in astronomy or to finally discovering the hidden pleasures in television viewing)? will I have los cojones to, as a wise person once said,: "make one heap of all your winnings And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss..." and thus live life? What I will do when the time comes...

What else was discussed?
I wonder what that rasberry-colored topping on the bananas is!?
I eat too much when I go to the chinese-buffet.
Next week I pay at the Indian buffet!

We discussed change in ones` life. Its possibility of being a gradual process (several months/years) and of being an instant one (one moment to the next). In my view it is gradual, as one learns more and more about the situation at hand, but there is one precise moment when the change occurs. That moment is when one consciously tells himself he will act differently (or simply: he Will act)- that conscious decision has been fundamental in my previous changes.
One previous thought: a life-changing experience is only life-changing if the person had been contemplating changing their life, or if the person had been unhappy with a certain aspect of their life. Coming close to death will only wake one up if that person is ready, willing, or else he will make nothing of the matter.


An addition: Inspiration is key in everyday life. If you do come close to death and decide to change your life then it was that event which gave you the impulse and you will ride that wave for as long as you can. If you see a waterfall (oh please stop using the waterfall example) and it inspires you then you, by painting or by other means, will ride that wave for as long as you can.

If you fall in love and manage to not become attached to the object of your loving then you can ride the wave of inspiration it has generated inside of you (for ever...).