peeling away the layers
j: here is to starting a new phase in the relationship
-"i mean, you have this idea of yourself right, an image of sorts."
he squeezed the mayonnaise package and painted the veggie burger with the sticky white substance (the mayonnaise).
he continued:
-"and it really is impossible to understand how that image came about!!
i mean, perhaps a number of people have commented on how large your... your ears are but it was that one comment about the beauty-mark on the bottom of your left ear that you remember.
i mean, the view that you have of yourself... not even YOU know how you ended up with it."
he looked into her eyes, both, scanning for a reaction.
he continued:
"messed up right?! but worse even, you have this image of yourself as other people see you.
i mean,
to your co-workers you think they see you in a certain way
to your water polo buddies you think they see you in a different way
to your parents you have another image
regarding your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend you think they see you in another way
...
with different people you feel differently about yourself."
her lips parted:
-"how do you see yourself when you are around me?"
his smile faded:
-"don`t take me personally honey, i`m just philosophising"
she:
-"well what is wrong with philosphising about us??"
him:
-"we can do that too... later"
and quickly added:
-"listen, i just want to add the crux of all this, please... let me just finish
my thoughts and we can sit down and argue about our relationship"
her:
-"i don`t want to argue! I hate arguing"
male:
-"ok ok, i meant discuss... ok, talk, i meant talk"
silence
testicles again (in a soft voice):
-"i`m sorry strawberry, i got carried away"
silence
testies:
-"i love you"
a low sniffeling followed by:
-"go on then"
insensitive guy:
-"i just wanted to add that the image is independent of what the other person really thinks.
...
i mean, you think that the other person sees you in a certain way but you don`t know- and most of the times you are actually wrong in your self-judgement!
so you go around acting in a hundred diferent ways according to whom you are with and when you get home you don`t know who you are supposed to act as... and so you feel uncomfortable... either that or you know perfectly well who you are and you still feel uncomfortable because you weren`t acting like that person throughout the day."
sensitive girl:
-"so you think i am not sincere with myself?"
m:
-"no hon...."
f:
-"i understand what you are saying, really i do but..."
m:
-"say it baby, don`t hold it in, be true to yourself"
silence
-"don`t betray yourself! let it all out, tell me!"
f:
-"i`m not betraying myself!
you think you are getting somewhere with all your philosophising but all you do is talk talk talk!
I know what you are talking about but i prefer to be just as i am. I prefer to act differently with different people. I have many facets to my personality- when i am in a bitchy mood i hang out with my girlfriends, when i am in a quiet mood i hang out with A., when i want some pampering i go for two days to my parents` house, and when i want some deep dicking i hang out with you until you start with your philosophy 101 bullshit..."
silence
-"you talk too much... what you are saying is right but you just preach but don`t act accordingly..."
silence
-"hey, you asked for honesty
...
you crying?"
low sniffelling
-"i mean, you have this idea of yourself right, an image of sorts."
he squeezed the mayonnaise package and painted the veggie burger with the sticky white substance (the mayonnaise).
he continued:
-"and it really is impossible to understand how that image came about!!
i mean, perhaps a number of people have commented on how large your... your ears are but it was that one comment about the beauty-mark on the bottom of your left ear that you remember.
i mean, the view that you have of yourself... not even YOU know how you ended up with it."
he looked into her eyes, both, scanning for a reaction.
he continued:
"messed up right?! but worse even, you have this image of yourself as other people see you.
i mean,
to your co-workers you think they see you in a certain way
to your water polo buddies you think they see you in a different way
to your parents you have another image
regarding your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend you think they see you in another way
...
with different people you feel differently about yourself."
her lips parted:
-"how do you see yourself when you are around me?"
his smile faded:
-"don`t take me personally honey, i`m just philosophising"
she:
-"well what is wrong with philosphising about us??"
him:
-"we can do that too... later"
and quickly added:
-"listen, i just want to add the crux of all this, please... let me just finish
my thoughts and we can sit down and argue about our relationship"
her:
-"i don`t want to argue! I hate arguing"
male:
-"ok ok, i meant discuss... ok, talk, i meant talk"
silence
testicles again (in a soft voice):
-"i`m sorry strawberry, i got carried away"
silence
testies:
-"i love you"
a low sniffeling followed by:
-"go on then"
insensitive guy:
-"i just wanted to add that the image is independent of what the other person really thinks.
...
i mean, you think that the other person sees you in a certain way but you don`t know- and most of the times you are actually wrong in your self-judgement!
so you go around acting in a hundred diferent ways according to whom you are with and when you get home you don`t know who you are supposed to act as... and so you feel uncomfortable... either that or you know perfectly well who you are and you still feel uncomfortable because you weren`t acting like that person throughout the day."
sensitive girl:
-"so you think i am not sincere with myself?"
m:
-"no hon...."
f:
-"i understand what you are saying, really i do but..."
m:
-"say it baby, don`t hold it in, be true to yourself"
silence
-"don`t betray yourself! let it all out, tell me!"
f:
-"i`m not betraying myself!
you think you are getting somewhere with all your philosophising but all you do is talk talk talk!
I know what you are talking about but i prefer to be just as i am. I prefer to act differently with different people. I have many facets to my personality- when i am in a bitchy mood i hang out with my girlfriends, when i am in a quiet mood i hang out with A., when i want some pampering i go for two days to my parents` house, and when i want some deep dicking i hang out with you until you start with your philosophy 101 bullshit..."
silence
-"you talk too much... what you are saying is right but you just preach but don`t act accordingly..."
silence
-"hey, you asked for honesty
...
you crying?"
low sniffelling
posted by dr. plim @ 3:26 PM
4 comments
