Summary of Friday March 04th Conversation

Priorities

It seems that an a younger age one tends to have several interests amongst which they distribute their time and efforts and as the years go by one finds him or herself focusing all the time and effort into one interest.
Generally it is ones` job which ends up being the dominating interest.
It seems, however, that this tendency for, let`s call it specialization, goes against the personal will since most people regret having lost the other components of their lives.
Many times the dominating interest never was an interest in the first place but simply a means of generating income, in those cases one must feel profoundly unsatisfied.

How does one allow this to occur and, perhaps more importantly, if one does in fact still feel the urge to pursue his other facets then what steps should one take to bring them back to "primeiro plano", back to the foreground?

Some may invoke "responsibility" as being the reason for the gradual specialization to have occurred but responsibility works not only for your job and for others but also for oneself!
A good mental exercise is to suppose there are three people who need your time on a certain day. You should, in fact, imagine that there are four people, the extra one being yourself, you should feel the sense of responsibility for all four, and you should partition your time for all four.
Do not neglect yourself, at any time, seems to be the key to not losing those different facets which make your person complete and happy.

This leads on to the concept of happiness which has been eternally debated:

What is happiness?

The world has happy occasions and sad occasions... or better, pleasant situations and unpleasant situations. The human being, as a well tuned antenna, simply perceives those situations and feels them. One cannot only feel the pleasant situations because if one is capable of feeling then he will also feel the unpleasant ones. It is what one does with the feeling that differentiates the outlook which one has on life.
One can become depressed, unhappy, thoughfull, and so on, by an unpleasant situation.
One can become overjoyed, ecstatic, happy, delighted, and so on, by a pleasant situation.
The situations in life are stimuli to which the being reacts. An optimistic/positive person will feel just as much as a pessimistic person but will decide to treat the situation as a learning experience and not allow it to take a hold of him.

Attachment
You step to the ridge of a valley and are awestruck by the beauty of a waterfall on the other side. It makes you smile at how grand it is, after a while you leave.
One should be aware that the feelings which surged upon looking at the waterfall belong to the observer, exclusively. If the rocks which make up the waterfall collapse, thus destroying it, the observer will be untouched and the feeling which the waterfall caused the observer to live (and which truly make up the waterfall) will too be untouched. In this way one should learn to not have any attachment in life.

The one thing which makes you feel that life is great and beautiful and worth living is also the one thing that can take you to the depths of unhapiness, to extreme sadness, the one thing that can detroy you. This for the same reason, attachment; one tends to hold on to that which gives the most pleasure. Dependance arises.
You hold on to the Ferrari as being the reason for your good feelings, and thus, whatever happens to the Ferrari happens to you too, to your emotions.

You hold on to that job you have wanted so much and whatever happens to that job, whatever ups and downs it has, you also feel; it determines your mood.

True happiness is independant of that which happens around you. It is independant of how beautiful your wife is, how big your house is, or which brand of car you own.

True or absolute happiness is inside of you, a quality which everyone has but which most people simply haven`t found, whereas most people nowadays only know relative happiness.

Many top athletes want to go to the olympic games and win a gold medal. Regardless of wether or not they are doing their best, or wether or not they are having fun, they want to win the gold medal. They will push the limits of their bodies, renounce to other pleasures such as being with friends, focus on the defects of the opponents, and so on, so that they can win the gold medal. While they are striving for that medal they are living a period of stress, mental and physical, it is the relief of this extreme stress, when they (hopefully) win the gold that they associate with happiness. But this is relative happiness because they are now free of all that stress, they are at zero stress so they are better than before...
However, soon they will raise their standards and focus on another goal and, once again, give everything to attain that goal... once again living in stress... it is similar to the story of the man who had everything the world could offer him, everything anyone could ever want, and thus he would resort to wearing shoes which were a size too small such that, every night, he would feel extreme happiness as he removed them.

Absolute happiness, inner bliss, is not dependant on achievements, outcomes, medals... it is not dependant on what others believe is correct, on everyone elses` views of your actions, on recognition.

Most importantly: step into action.

Words, conversation, can be extremely strong in that, when said by someone who can really transmit well and when received by someone who can receive well, the receiver immediately understands and is altered by those words thus the period of action which is normally necessary for one to put into practice what was preached and to practically understand the lesson, is unecessary.
However, words can be also the weakest form of communication and not affect you in the slightest... this happens when either the receiver or the sender (or both) are weak.

Stepping towards action.
Once words have outlined the path and sown seeds of inspiration, then it is time for action.
Action without first having prepared the ground is pointless action, action without fundament, and leads nowhere.
The land will not provide fruit if one prepares it meticulously but then does not take the step to sow the seeds and care for them.
Action and creating inspiration are both pointless if they are not tied together.

The question then is how to take action? - In baby steps.
One needs to place deadlines for himself not only in work (generally imposed by others and to which one has to adjust) but in all other aspects such as social and spiritual growth. If one wants to someday be in the position where he will be capable of achieving inner peace then he needs to take many small steps in spiritual and personal learning over the course of, probably, many years (just as one does not go from building instruments for a Meade 12" telescope to building instruments for a 30m telescope in a matter of days).

Which steps to take?
The presence of a guru, a guide, is always necessary in this matter. Everyone has the potential for achieving spiritual enlightenment yet, one needs a teacher/guide to help in fullfilling that potential.
A Guru is someone in whom you place your trust and who leads you in your path, telling you which is the next step you should take and when you should take it. Necessary it is to place trust since there are a multitude of steps which one must take and lead to the exploration of a darkness which evokes fear.
Trust is imperative.
The Guru, which may simply be a friend of yours, can see defects which you may have and are not aware of; or he can be someone who opens your eyes to other paths in life which, alone, you would never have been aware of.

Unwavering determination
By defining and following through with attainable objectives one slowly performs action and moves in the direction of personal growth.